Sibling fighting

Posted by Tami @tamih70, Feb 10, 2018

I have 2 girls that are 14 months apart. They have a love-hate relationship. They constantly try to talk over each other for my attention, or if one doesn’t like something the other one is doing, the screaming begins. Any suggestions?

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@tamih70, I can relate! I have two boys. While they are 3 years apart in age, I totally see their love-hate relationship. While the love part is great, the hate part is difficult to deal with. I am no expert in how to handle this, but I will say the following:
*For the attention part – consider doing things with each of them alone so they feel like they have their special time with you and don’t have to compete for your attention.
*For the dislike of something the other is doing – we try to celebrate (whenever possible) the differences our boys demonstrate. Where they may not choose what the other is doing, we point out why it is meaningful to the other. I try to use it as a teachable moment.

Best of luck!


This is constant in our house. I have 7 year old twin boys and a 5 year old girl. The best thing that has worked for us is alone time. Although this is very challenging, even just 5 minutes can "put money in the bank" for the attention the child gets…and I enjoy it too! Also I would like to normalize your comment. For example, one of my twins said "my life would be so much better if brother wasn't so annoying all the time"…and then then this morning he said how he wanted to wait just one more minute before eating breakfast because he loves snuggling his brother. LOL!


With 4 kids, we went through this A LOT. We have two "sets", 5 years between the sets. So for instance, we had a 12yo, 14yo, 19yo and a 21yo. (they're all grown and on their own now). Sibling spats were a fairly regular occurrence and when it happened, we simply made them go spend some time alone. Usually, the involved parties just got sent to their rooms. Then when heads were cool, we would sit down with them if it was something that needed discussion and mediate a talk. We really didn't put up with screaming and hollering and always reminded them that you decide every morning when you get up, what kind of day you're going to have and that your bad attitude doesn't mean others should have to suffer for it. So when one of them was especially crabby and had a nasty attitude, they were told to go to their rooms until they could be decent to everyone else. They are all grown up now and two of them raising their first, and really live by the positive attitude rule.

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